Okay. First thing’s first.

Working in a boutique galaxy design firm in Eternity — the realm of Existence responsible for creating all the celestial bodies in the Universe — of course I had NO idea that I’d ever end up banished to Earth. My shop designed that very planet!

Yeah. I get the irony.

And I DEFINITELY did not anticipate being reconstituted so that I would be a dog. A canine.

Woof-woof.

But I suppose there’s not a whole lot I can do about that now.

Emma’s taking the whole transition a lot harder than I am. But she’s always been the really ambitious one. Which isn’t to say I don’t have any goals. It’s just that, when I’m honest with myself, I’d rather follow than lead. Guess that’s why I ended up as a dog.

Again, I get the irony.

Still … all things considered, Earth’s not so bad.

It’s not so great, let’s not get carried away, but it could have been a lot worse. The Minder of the Universe — that’s the guy who oversees the, well, the Universe (his title kinda says it all) — could have dumped me in the Woglo System. That’s pretty much a bog that floats in space, and every formation in it smells like an ardvaark’s armpit on a REALLY hot day.

So … there’s that.

Anyway, we were living out of a beat-up Winnebago in Yuma, Arizona, until Emma had the idea to open an Internet Café with a galaxy theme. Makes sense. Things have been going pretty well, all things considered, and now, thanks to an idea I had, inspired by one of my hobbies — running a marijuana dispensary — we’ll be expanding to Phoenix and then San Francisco.

Now THAT I’m excited about.

Only thing is…. my memory is a bit hazy. Sometimes I have total recall from when I was a dude. A man, that is. So I still think like someone who walks around on two legs. And sometimes my brain is pure canine. But most of the time it’s a mix, which makes things really confusing, thinking like a man, but trapped in a dog’s body. And then the canine in me takes over, and I’m totally schizoid.

Anyway … I’ve got to chew on my back for a while and then go for my afternoon walk. But I’ll fill you in later on what else has been going on. We’re interviewing some cute girls to work the counter. Doesn’t matter if they get the job or not. I get scratches on my belly regardless.