Category Archives: New Releases

Some Thoughts on DuckBob Spinowitz

By Roger Henry David Thomas (a.k.a. Tall) 

men-in-black-3-sunglassesI am not entirely certain who I offended when I was assigned to work with the subject known as DuckBob Spinowitz. The Grays, an extraterrestrial race, found something worthy in him and made him a sort of guardian of the galaxy. He was tethered to The Matrix, seeing all and responsible for keeping peace and order.

Our agency is sworn to help him and somehow I became his handler. Then his partner. Now, I suppose, I call him a friend.

When we first met, I considered him a juvenile delinquent, a lab rat, and a loaded gun, a menace to Earth and the universe as a whole. But then things happened and he accomplished things that I thought difficult nigh unto impossible. And he did it after having his human head morphed into that of a mallard, literally becoming DuckBob.

He’s lazy and is the textbook definition of a slob. Yet, he somehow manages to keep tabs on the myriad alien races populating the known universe. I can’t tell a Yridian from a May-bin-yo but he can and right there I can admire him.

I once described my job to him, “What we do, it’s dangerous. Really dangerous. We’re facing aliens all the time that’re bigger than we are, stronger than we are, faster than we are, smarter than we are, and a lot of ’em have way better tech than we do—and much bigger guns. We’re putting ourselves at risk every day, in order to protect the American people and their way of life.”

DuckBob has to worry about the entire universe.

And there are times I think the universe worries about him. I just got word, the universe apparently feels it owes DuckBob some kind of debt. They’ve found a way for him to do his job without being connected 24/7 to the Matrix. He’s been brought to Earth to taste freedom for the first time in years.

My task: keep him safe and keep him close because they may have freed him, but I also know the universe is a joker. Something’s coming for DuckBob and I have to keep him safe.

God help me, but we need DuckBob. And I need my friend (not that you need to tell him that).

DuckBob (and Tall) will return this fall in Three Small Coinkydinks.

Tales of the Crimson Keep—Revealed!

At long last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for—the first glimpse of the cover to the all-new Crazy 8 Press anthology Tales of the Crimson Keep!

In a way, this book has been three years in the making—at least, the first story involving the Crimson Keep, “Demon Circle,” was created three years ago. Right around the same time that Crazy 8 Press itself officially began. Now here we are, three years later, with over a dozen books to our collective name, yet this is the first time every member of the team has contributed to the same project. And we’re debuting it at Shore Leave (Hunt Valley Inn, Hunt Valley, MD, August 1-3), the fan-run SF convention where Crazy 8 started and where, three years ago, we wrote “Demon Circle” as a round-robin story out in the exhibit hall.

If you’re at the show, come by and see us, pick up a copy, and get all of us (sans Paul, who will be there in spirit and possibly in effigy) to sign it. And if you can’t make it don’t worry, you’ll still be able to buy the book online or from us at any of our other con appearances. It will be available in ebook formats soon after the convention as well.

In the meantime, enjoy the cover!

CrimsonKeep front cover

Redemption

2013-02-16 Mike & AaronEvery good story has it in some form or another. Characters you think can’t possibly be reclaimed, can’t possibly be brought back from the brink of the abyss, nonetheless find some measure of salvation from the burdens they’ve been carrying.

Burdens of guilt. Burdens of regret. Burdens they didn’t even know they were lugging around, sometimes. And when they’re relieved of those burdens at long last, we breathe a heartfelt sigh along with them.

Because we all have pasts. We all have memories of incidents we wish had turned out differently—and would have, perhaps, if we had made one choice rather than another. It hurts to know that we screwed up big-time at some point in our lives and now there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, we can do about it.

Except…sometimes we can do something about it. Sometimes we get a second chance to make things come out right. And sometimes, unfortunately, we only think we’ve got that chance.

Which is the crux of “The Seeming,” my contribution to our maddeningly imminent Crazy 8 Press anthology, Tales of the Crimson Keep.

It’s a wonderful place, by the way, this Crimson Keep. So big and complex and ever-changing that almost anything is possible in its shadowy precincts. So redemption is always just around the corner. Or not. Depends on how you look at it, when you look at it, and whether you’re even inclined to look in the first place.

I haven’t yet mentioned the protagonist in my Crimson Keep story. He’s…what can I say…a demon. More specifically, the most puissant demon-warlord Koliander the Undying, whom we met in “Demon Circle,” and who was eventually–

Hang on a second. Maybe you’re one of the two or three benighted souls who haven’t had the inestimable pleasure of reading “Demon Circle” yet. In that case, I’d better not say what happens to Koliander. The last thing I want to do is spoil it for you.

What I will say is that the most puissant demon-warlord Koliander the Undying needs some redeeming. Lots of redeeming. And salvation too, scads of it. I mean, he’s a demon, right? If you knew nothing else about him, you’d imagine there was plenty of room for redemption in his life, and in my story he gets the chance to grab him some.

Not that he’s actually looking for redemption. He’s looking for something quite different—or thinks he is. In fact, he doesn’t know a whole lot more about what’s going on in “The Seeming” than you do. Which, when you think about it, is precious little.

But you’ll find out everything about everything, or at least everything worth knowing about Koliander’s fate, in the Crazy 8 Press tome The Crimson Keep, on sale at better on-line retailers in both print and digital formats this coming August 1.

Redemption—unlike payback, it’s not a bitch. Except when it is.

Tales of the Crimson Keep will be available in digital and print formats on August 1.

Slipping Through an Open Window – The Thief in the Night

Russ photo 2An open window. Moonlight. That’s how it came to me.

This is going back almost 25 years ago now. I kept seeing the scene. Two hands perched on a windowsill as a breeze blew the curtains in. And then the story took shape.

A single burglar sneaks in through a second story window, to rob the place. Yet while he’s in a supposedly empty house, he encounters, well…I don’t want to say too much, but what was intended to be a quick in-and-out job turns out to be so much more.

Essentially, I had a one-act play in mind, in three parts. It was a fun situation; it made me laugh. And yet…I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

Fast forward to Shore Leave 2013, sitting at a local diner, and our Crazy 8 Press man behind the engine Bob Greenberger directed us all to do an anthology, The Tales of the Crimson Keep,so get your ideas together.

While I nodded and said okay, sure, anything you need, Bob, I’m in…on the inside I’m thinking oh, crud. I’m lousy at short stories. I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off.

And then it came to me. The Thief in the Night.

I had the scenario, I just needed the set up.

And now, in just over a month, this goofy comedy of errors I envisioned 25 years ago finally has a shape and a place to land.

It’s still fun, and funny, and maintains the integrity I always had in mind. But as often happens while clacking the keys, this story of mine started in one direction, and through its own momentum took me down some surprising corners, which is what happens when you write a tale about The Crimson Keep.

The world of wizards and demons doesn’t quite work like the one you and I know. It has its own rules, its own logic, and its own way revealing trap doors when you least suspect them.

Which is exactly what I wanted for The Thief in the Night. Because when you slip in through windows when the moon is full, you should never think that what you’re looking for is exactly what you’ll find.

Tales of the Crimson Keep will be available in print and digital editions on August 1.

Robert Greenberger’s “Assessment” of the Crimson Keep’s Students

JLS_2814Writing a story for Tales of the Crimson Keep was something we bandied about last fall and committed to at Farpoint, meaning it would be my first fiction of note since becoming a fulltime English teacher. And sure enough, the idea of the Master, the ageless wizard teaching the kids how to wield magic, testing his charges was the first idea that occurred to me.

Initially, I wanted to call the story “Field Test”, sending two of the characters out of the Keep and into the world where the Demon War was still a serious threat. My idea was to take two teens that had been trained to practice magic and challenge them by having them complete an assignment without using their power.

Magic, like any weapon or tool, can become a crutch and a sign of how well people have learned is to take that away and see what happens. The Master, though, has seen to it the goal is fraught with obstacles that will force them to act or be injured. It is also a test of trust. Since, after all, this is a test during wartime where the conditions are vastly different than during periods of peace. Sometimes trust is the different between life and death.

With that in mind, I needed two students and it seemed fairly obvious that it had to be two of the three we introduced in “Demon Circle”. There was Belid, boastful, overconfident and the students’ BMOC (Big Man Of the Castle). Or there was Athis, a little bit of a doofus, a little awed by how east Belid makes things look, but a dedicated student. Then we have Klaria, perhaps the most accomplished of the current class but haughty, knowing she is better than most.

I decided to take the extremes, Athis and Klaria, and see what happens when they need to rely on one another’s skills, competence, and basic humanity. It was clear that Athis was smitten with Klaria so I wanted to see if that would get in the way or not. I then changed the title to “Assessment” and began thinking of the goal and backtracking, adding in the obstacles. The very first one was a true test of trust between the two, before they even leave the Crimson Keep, inspired to a degree from Martin Caidin’s Cyborg but under less extreme circumstances.

Once the beats were in place, the writing, largely done over a few sessions spread weeks apart, fell into place fairly quickly. What proved challenging was the tone, keeping it light at times, heavy at others, matching the prime story of our collection. Since I am editing the overall volume and crave others’ critical eyes, I asked Paul Kupperberg to give it the once over. And as you read this, he’s still at work so we’re all awaiting the results of my personal assessment.

Tales of the Crimson Keep will be available in print and digital formats on August 1.

Finders Keepers is Back to Press

FKfrontcoverHey folks

2014 is off to a good start here at Crazy 8 Press. And we’ll be adding to the fun in coming months with several new releases. You want new books, and … we’ve got ‘em!

There are several more in the hopper from all seven of us, but first up we want to re-introduce you to Russ Colchamiro’s hilarious scifi backpacking comedy Finders Keepers. Russ launched Finders Keepers to big acclaim back in 2010, but after a necessary switch in distributors —he liked us way better anyway! — he officially joined us an official member of Crazy 8 press.

We gave Finders Keepers a bit of a soft launch late last year, and now we’re ready to do it BIG!

So … for fans of Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, and Douglas Adams, Finders Keepers is absolutely for you.

Finders Keepers is a raunchy, sci-fi backpacking adventure — think American Pie/Superbad meets Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

On a backpacking trip through Europe, Jason Medley and Theo Barnes stumble through hash bars and hangovers; religious zealots and stalkers; food poisoning and thunderstorms; cute girls; overnight trains; fever-pitch hallucinations — and the specter of adult responsibility!

But when a jar containing the Universe’s DNA falls from Eternity, these new friends find their loyalties put to the test . . . unaware that a motley crew from another realm is chasing them across the globe, with the fate of the Milky Way hanging in the balance.

Traversing Europe, New Zealand, and the backbone of Eternity, Finders Keepers is a raunchy, sci-fi backpacking comedy that not only tackles friendship, sex, commitment, and desire, but also God, reincarnation — and what really happened to the dinosaurs!

Buy Finders Keepers here.

View the Finders Keepers trailer!

View the Finders Keepers character illustrations.

Warning(s):

Finders Keepers is not recommended for people who dislike books that are both fun and funny. And are allergic to the Universe’s DNA — it’s potent stuff. Smells okay, but definitely potent.

This novel contains a few scenes that might be considered naughty. So, yes … there are boobs. We’re not talking Caligula here, but if you are offended by some boinking, or the idea that getting it on is too Pagan, Finders Keepers probably ain’t for you.

Also … there are four letter words throughout these pages. Some readers protest that such language isn’t proper for fiction. Well … too late! Finders Keepers is just that kind of book.

Finally, you may want to sample before buying. The Finders Keepers prologue alone should give you a very good idea of what you’re in for.